twenty

2 August 1997 - 2 August 2017 

Twenty

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"Only from the heart can you touch the sky." - Rumi

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Mr. Gorgeous and I renewed our marital vows in celebration of our 20th wedding anniversary - with our beloved children, ma mere divine, Coco and 16 of our family and dearest friends. Every moment of our day was magic...

love is in the air: details, details...

"Love is in the air, in the rising of the sun.

Love is in the air, when the day is nearly done."

- John Paul Young

love is in the air

"Love is in the air, everywhere I look around." - John Paul Young

This summer marks Mr. G's and my 20th wedding anniversary - wow, time sure does fly! On our wedding day in 1997, we promised each other that we would renew our vows every decade. We did in 2007 (with our beloved children by our side). Now, seemingly in the blink of an eye, we're approaching another 10 years of love, laughter and adventure - and we gonna to celebrate! 

For years now, we've known exactly where we want to celebrate Twenty - the Gold Coast; and who we want to celebrate with: ma mere divine, our beautiful children, Coco and 20 of our closest family and friends - an intimate, elegant, personal gathering. The theme: Boho-Beach avec Style Parisien. After deciding on the summer date, I asked our priest (who officiated our wedding and 10th renewal ceremonies) to officiate Twenty - he said yes! Second, I reserved the Gold Coast beach house. Third, I found and booked an amazing local photographer. Then the fun really began...

"We believe in celebrations both big and small." - Kate Spade

There are so many moving parts in planning a wedding, after a brief search I decided on this Kate Spade wedding planner ($50). As gorgeous and large as it is, it doesn't have enough folders. So I decided to make my own - using Cavallini file folders, with three gorgeous colorful themes: Paris, Butterflies and Birds (12/$20, Amazon has the largest selection), an adjustable 3 ring hole punch, scissors, and clear packing tape. 

I've got the major pieces in place, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. Next there's: finding a caterer (choosing the menu), flowers, the cake, invitations, I'm creating two Paris Playlist(s), and the DRESS. I freely admit that planning to 'marry' my Mr. Gorgeous again has me feeling like an ingenue. I can't wait to share my journey with you. Can you tell how much fun I'm having? ;-} 

Vivre! Rire! Aimer!

Temple

Amour Rouge 2018: Sparkle On, Darling...

"Diamonds, shining, dancing, dining..." Sophisticated Lady, Duke Ellington (1933)

Postcard(s) to Paris (in all its forms) is my favorite recurring column, here on Pour l'Amour de Paris. But, my adolescent, annual Valentine's Day column (Amour Rouge) definitely takes second place honors - what's more Parisian then celebrating love? I'm proud and happy to say that my readers love this column too. A reader wrote me; asked why I wait to publish Amour Rouge at 12:01a.m. Valentine's Day (U.S.) instead of weeks, or even days, earlier, so people can prepare? My reply: that's the point.  You've got your wardrobe ready - and it's on fleek! Made your dinner reservations; got your dance club all lined up; flowers=check [though I suggest you forgo the ubiquitous store bought card and opt for a handwritten love letter instead (major romance points!)]. Amour Rouge is meant for after all that. Amour Rouge is about delicious last minute details; about the accouterments; that last bit of spice - that renders you unique, different, extra extra. This year's Amour Rouge last minute accoutrement, bit of spice, extra extra inspiration? Sparkles, darlings!

Beauté: Brown skincare essentials

Naomi Cambell

Photo: de.flash-screen.com

"Nature gives you the face you have at twenty;

it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty." 

- Coco Chanel

Bonjour mes amours,

For most of my adult life I have been an unabashed make-up and skincare drugstore counter devotee. Alas, maturité has required me to reassess my devotion. No matter what some pundits say, 40-something dames' need oh so much more skincare firepower than any drugstore product can provide. That reality encouraged me to move beyond my comfortable, staid beauty boundaries and into a truly glorious new world. It is not my intention to look 'young.' I'm not - and I'm not disingenuous enough to say that I don't miss my youthful visage, but that's the price you pay for living and the wisdom that accompanies it. What I want is to look like I feel - lush, beautiful, sexy, fresh.

"Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art." Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

For the last 2 years I've been doing my research, learning, experimenting, then doing it all again for each new product - with fantastic results. I have learned so much, you know I've gotta share. The internets are a very good thing. But my only bones of contention are that the vast majority of information, reviews, swatches, etc. I've found, about high-end skincare and cosmetic products, very rarely, if ever, address the unique needs of we brown skinned divas:

* Brown skin is especially sensitive and prone to inflammation and acne (our naturally oily skin may mean that 'black don't crack' - YAY! But it also means that we have the highest rates of acne - Boo!)

* 'Ashy' skin on Brown bodies (yes all women experience 'the ashy' but it's especially noticeable on we brown skinned sistahs).

* Post-Inflammatory-Hyperpigmentation (PIH) a.k.a. dark brown spots. 

Conversely, the Sistah-centered sites (I subscribe to religiously) very rarely, if ever, discuss high-end cosmetics and skincare products or 40+something cosmetic and skincare needs. Thus, the results of my research and experimentation, I'll share here with you, are a combination of all three. Imperfect to be sure - I'm only one woman after all, and one size definitely does not fit all. But, as far as I know and have seen, I'm the only one doing this. So I figure it starts with me. No woman is an island, , please, ask me questions, give me tips, send me photos - they will be most welcome and most appreciated. 

I've recently tweaked my skincare regimen [in a way that specifically addresses the three Brown skin concerns I mentioned above (but also totally applies to sistahs of every ethnicity and skin tone)], discovered some fantabulous cosmetics, and have found some wonderful Nappy haircare products I want to share with you. Oui, I'm going to blog about them all, but let's start with skincare. Shall we?...

"I know who I am. I am not perfect.

I am not the most beautiful woman in the world.

But I am one of them." - Mary J. Blige

Of course, every great (and by great I mean the most effective/successful) skincare regimen begins with a strong foundation - make-up removal before you hit the sheets:

Lancome Bi-Facil 

Eye Makeup Remover

Actually, this is one high end product I've been using for more than 25 years. It removes all traces of mascara and eye makeup, no matter how sensitive your skin is and doesn't mess w/ your contacts.

Pond's Cold Cream Cleanser

Make-up remover

Yes, this is another drugstore staple. I've tried similar high-end products (Chanel, Elizabeth Arden, Clinique, and Lancome) - and nothing compares to Pond's Cold Cream (irregardless of the price tag). It doesn't have SPF anything; nor does it erase wrinkles, fine lines or discoloration. All it does is gently but completely remove all traces of makeup - for all skin types (including sensitive and acne prone) and leaves your skin soft and velvety smooth.

Laninsoh Clean & Conditioning Cloths

Pack of 6 (80 count in each pack) 

$20 @ amazon.com

Yes, I can fully admit that after a late night on the town with Mr. Gorgeous, the last thing I want to do is spend 10 minutes painstakingly removing my makeup. These wipes provide the perfect shortcut. They completely remove all eye and face makeup in about 60 seconds. And they're liberally laced with Lanolin - leaving your skin soft, silky smooth and clean. Yep, these allow you to fall into bed with no guilt ;-}

"I came to the conclusion that spending fifteen to twenty minutes preparing for each new day is worth every second." - Tish Jett, Forever Chic

Proactiv - 3-step system

Acne Jiujitsu!

This is another product that I've been using for 25+ years and haven't been able to find anything better:

Step 1: the Renewing Cleanser is a micro-crystal benzoyl peroxide formula (2.5% prescription strength). This is the best exfoliant I've ever used - the 'beads' are fine, soft, gentle and extremely effective in preventing and eradicating acne flareups - medicated exfoliation gentle enough to use at least once a day. 

Step 2: Revitalizing Toner - contains no alcohol and is packed w/ Humectants that shrink pores and help to keep the moisture in the upper layers of the epidermis (I usually use this late night after after cleansing my face with the Laninsoh wipes). It's also great on a hot summer-beach-no make up day - a quick refresher for parched skin. 

Step 3: Repairing Treatment: this stuff is powerful and amazingly effective at keeping my skin acne free and pretty-quickly clearing up my infrequent breakouts and the PIH that results from them (though I am looking for a good skin bleaching cream to deal with PIH, stay tuned). 

Elizabeth Arden Prevage 

Anti-Aging Serum

The party line: protects and corrects the look of skin, helping shield it from environmental assaults and intercepting future aging signs to dramatically improve the look of sun-damaged skin. It's formulated with advanced ldebenone technology, the most powerful antioxidant available today.

The real deal: packed with retinols, Prevage improves the texture and tone of my skin; with consistent use fades discoloration and shrinks my pores; kicks fine lines and wrinkles collective asses; and leaves my skin luminous while totally impeding all things aging - LOVE this!!!!

Chanel Le Lift Creme Yeux 

Firming Anti-Wrinkle Eye Cream

I love Chanel cosmetics. The pigments are rich, deep and true - perfect for we brown skinned divas of every shade. One day when I was shopping for makeup, my counter lady -Susan- gave me a generous sample of the Le Lift - so I tried it. Love it! With regular use (once in the morning, once at night) the light sweetly scented cream visibly lightens the dark circles under my eyes (note: my circles aren't that dark), and makes the skin around my eyes soft, supple and glowing. Who knew? Now you do ;-}

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Note: Be sure to make friends with one specific counter lady, at your favorite 'big' store at your mall. Susan slips me large sizes of every sample imaginable from her company's cosmetic/skincare lines,  gives me major discounts when she can, calls or texts me the latest sales and coupons, and when I run out of my essentials, I only have to text or call and she packages my essentials and puts them in the  post (no matter the brand). She overnights them for no extra charge. But be sure to show your lady some major love - I send her a Christmas card every year w/ a nice tip for all her care ($20-$40 goes a long way). And I periodically bring her a small bouquet of flowers or bottle of my favorite bubbly. It's a very good thing - trust me. And you can't have too many diva-girlfriends ;-}

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Elizabeth Arden 

Ceramide Premiere Intense Moisturizer SPF 30

I have always had incredibly oily skin. At least I did until I reached 40. Now my face becomes quite parched, especially during the winter :-{ Ceramide drenches my skin. It's packed with retinols. I find that, along with it's fabulous SPF 30 protection, it boosts the effects of Elizabeth Arden's Prevage Serum, 

* After I let the Ceramide soak in (1-2 minutes), I smooth the Proactiv Repairing Treatment (#3) on the pimply and/or trouble spots on my face. That way there's no irritation or discomfort from the second dose of Benzoyl Peroxide.

I freely acknowledge that this 40 something skincare regimen is quite costly. So much so that, for one full year, I tried drugstore counter substitutes (again a whole lot of research, trial and error). I quickly found that my less expensive versions gave me 1/3rd of the results - completely unacceptable. The one saving grace is that each of these admittedly expensive products come in quite generous portions and last a long time. Yes, it's an investment but the quality and results are undeniable. I'm SO worth it and so are you ;-} Let me know if any of these products work for you - I'm dying to know!

Vivre! Rire! Aimer!

Temple

postcard to paris #6: flower of the universe...

"They come to see the fire burning in your heart. They want to witness, this love..." - Sade

Last Sunday was my mother's 89th birthday! We're in the midst of planning a trip to Paris for her 90th, and mom was expecting our usual trip to our favorite French restaurant for this birthday. She never suspected I was planning a surprise party instead. Little did I know, while planning, plotting and scheming, that Celebrating Dorothy would be my next Postcard to Paris.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to plan a surprise birthday party, in your home, for someone who lives with you? I invited 20 of mom's closest lady-friends and had to be creative about it. No traditional posted invitations, I couldn't ask mom for addresses. So I texted one of her closest girlfriends, she created a text group message, for all the invitees, leading with this adorable bright pink invite. 

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"[Paris in Springtime] exudes a special atmosphere of elegance, freshness, joie de vivre." - Miruna, Travel Away

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Ma mere's birthday is two days before the calendar start of Spring + Paris is her favorite place on Earth (this apple doesn't fall far ;-} Thus, the theme for mom's 89th was fait accompli: Springtime in Paris, with more than a bit of Sistah-Spice...

In my foyer, a vase of white roses stood guard over iridescent bejeweled picture frame-keepsakes, with each guest's name.

The Green Room:

Yellow Daffodils, blue and green Hydrangeas, white and pale pink Hyacinth. 

The White Room (my photography-studio): 

My second guest keepsake: a group photograph. Rory patiently stood while I arranged the lighting.

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Temple Tip: Ask for help!

"Oh, baby I get by with a little help from my friends." The Beatles

The Plan: while the grandchildren were at church with mom, I would arrange the decor (tables, champagne, glasses, napkins, plates, silverware, etc) and prepare the appetizer table and luncheon buffet - all within a two hour window. The Reality: given that timeframe, there was no way I could cook for 25+ people and set up the house - so I asked a few of mom's friends to bring a French cuisine inspired dish and asked two of my Lady-friends (Ellen and Sylvia) to come over, as soon as mom and the kids left, to help set up (they also brought several amazing and delicious pre-prepared dishes); and served drinks, cocktails, food and did cleanup, alongside Mr. G and me. Dorothy's birthday party was truly the result of a loving group effort. The Takeaway: never, ever be reluctant to ask for a little help from your friends.

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The stage was set, the guests arrived on time, all that remained was:

!Surprise!

time to party

Essential Sustenance: a perfectly chilled case of bubbly- Flor Prosecco Rose Brut NV

Red Roses in a vintage Tiffany ice bucket (a wedding gift to my parents, forty years ago), 

vintage French lace and silver, large and small votives made from chandelier crystals (an Ellen contribution) 

accompany Texas flea market glass dishes (one of mom's engagement gifts to Mr. G and me, twenty-one years ago).

Menu: a Paris inspired buffet Plat du Fromage et Fruits, Charcuterie, Salad Nicosie, Smoked Salmon Platter, 

Cream Cheddar Saffron Asparagus Soup; Shrimp Pasta with Sugar Snap Peas; Poulet Cuit

Birthday cake, bien sur. Eighty-Nine candles plus one for luck!

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"Like diamonds, like my love, they want to know it's true there's someone in the world, lovely as you." - Sade 

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What to do after a decadent luncheon, free flowing bubbly, gifts, a birthday cake and song? Dancing of course!

Oh how we danced!

My beloved mother is the jewel of our family. She equally co-parents our three, has an incredibly close, loving relationship unique to/with each of them. She is a true friend to Mr. G. She is my  heart, reminds me who and what I am in my moments of weakness and strength, augments my feminine power with her mighty own. Her wisdom, sassiness and grace are constant blessings to us all. But it wasn't until this day that I realized that she has touched, positively effected and is greatly loved outside of our family circle as well. Throughout the festivities, at some point, each one of the ladies stood and testified to how la Dorothy personally touched their lives, gave them advice, listened to their problems and/or simply gave one of her sweet but firm hugs of love that make everything right and remind you how wonderful and special you are. Dorothy is not just the jewel of our family, she's a jewel. 

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"This love is far and wide. When you smile the stars align. Flower of the Universe." - Sade

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My mother was born ten years after women got the right to vote in this country (1929); was raised by her grandmother - the last enslaved person in our family. She was sixteen years old the day WWII ended (1945); twenty-six years old the day Ms. Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on that bus in Montgomery, Alabama (1955); thirty-five years old when the Civil Rights Act of 1964 became law; thirty-eight years old when Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated (1968); forty years old the day the U.S. landed on the Moon (1969,  my sister was one, I was one day old); seventy-two years old on 9/11 (2001); seventy-nine years old the day Barack Obama was elected U.S. President (2008). After nearly nine decades on this Earth, after witnessing and living through some of our brightest and darkest days, she still believes in righteous justice, that hard work makes the humble man and woman mighty, loving simple things keeps the world spinning on its Axis, nothing beats a no but an ask, a strong unified family can get you through anything, and there's nothing a perfectly chilled glass of champagne can't help fix. Dorothy is a living testament to all that's right, bright and beautiful in this world. At Eighty-Nine years young, la Dorothy is a Flower of the Universe.

!Happy Birthday Mommy!

Vivre! Aimer! Rire!

Temple

love is in the air ~ the DRESS!

"Love is in the air, every sight and every sound." - John Paul Young

Sadly, with the ready availability of inexpensively/mass produced clothes, dressmaking/tailors is increasingly becoming a lost art - for the masses at least. Still, I was determined to get my dress from a small business. And I found it on Etsy, but it was black. I messaged the designer and asked if she'd be willing to make one for me in white, she said no. Since I had already decided to splurge on food, champagne; and my dress; I decided to look for a tailor. My criteria: find someone talented, creative, innovative, and close to home. Imagine my surprise and joy at finding the amazingly talented Kristina Giedra, who lives a mere 5 minute drive from my house!

From the first moment we met - we clicked. I showed her a photo of my dress, she said: "no problem." Her price was so reasonable, I didn't quibble. I chose a lovely understated 'beachy' mid-weight creamy crepe, then she sent me to Joann's Fabrics. I purchased the fabric, then Kristina and I realized that the dress needed a liner. So back to Joann's I went, this time with Mr. G - and that's when the whole script completely flipped...

Sparkle Plenty!

While we were wandering up and down aisles of fabric, looking for liner material, Mr. G picked up a bolt of the most gorgeous sparkly netted-fabric, turned to me and declared: "I like want this one. You should wear Stars." I instantly knew this fabric truly was the one (it drips Boho-Beach Style Parisien); and decided to design the dress myself. We returned the practical crepe - what was I thinking? Shame on me for muting my Diva! - and purchased 2 1/2 yards of this wondrous sparkly netting! I spent a night working on my design, then presented it to Kristina. She loved it and added her own expertise (my Twenty-dress literally flows and sparkles along every line of my body, hides my flaws and makes spectacular my assets) and then there's the rhinestone straps - et voila! 

Just a sneak peak...but of course there's a train. Diva!

Vivre! Rire! Aimer!

Temple

Kristina and I